60 Things NOT to Say to a Naked Man

Below are 60 things you shouldn’t say to a naked man. But Kudos if you’ve said more than 2 during the same conversation!

1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.

2. Ahh, it’s cute.

3. Who circumcised you?

4. Why don’t we just cuddle?

5. You know, they have surgery to fix that.

6. It’s more fun to look at.

7. Make it dance.

8. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that.

9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?

10. It looks like a night crawler.

11. Wow, and your feet are so big.

12. My last boyfriend was 4″ bigger.

13. It’s ok, we’ll work around it.

14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?

15. Eww, there’s an inch worm on your thigh.

16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

17. Oh no, a flash headache.

18. (giggle and point)

19. Can I be honest with you?

20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.

21. Let me go get my tweezers.

22. How sweet, you brought incense.

23. This explains your car.

24. You must be a growing boy.

25. Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.

26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.

27. Are you one of those pygmies?

28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?

29. Ever heard of clearasil?

30. All right, a treasure hunt!

31. I didn’t know they came that small.

32. Why is God punishing you?

33. At least this won’t take long.

34. I never saw one like that before.

35. What do you call this?

36. But it still works, right?

37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.

38. It looks so unused.

39. Do you take steroids?

40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.

41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.

42. Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?

43. Oh, I didn’t know you were in an accident.

44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?

45. Aww, it’s hiding.

46. Are you cold?

47. If you get me real drunk first.

48. Is that an optical illusion?

49. What is that?

50. I’ll go get the ketchup for your french fry.

51. Were you neutered?

52. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.

53. Does it come with an air pump?

54. So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.

55. Where are the puppet strings?

56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.

57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.

58. Never mind, why bother.

59. Is that a second belly button?

60. Where’s the rest of it?

Today I’m Remembering

You were on my mind when I woke up this morning
remembering your smile
I guess the next time I’ll see your face
will take a little while
I want to feel your arms around me
and the way they’ll feel warm
with you by my side
I completely feel no harm
I was remembering your voice
makes my heart skip a beat
but without you, baby
my whole body’s weak.

I was remembering our times
the good and the bad
the funny times when you cheered me up
and especially the sad
remembering your eyes
how they always meet mine
remembering all the little things you do
to make my life worthwhile
I was wondering when we’ll be together
just us two
I guess I’m missing you
more than I usually do.

Did You Know…? (General)

1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair

2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes
4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair
5. Elmer’s Glue – paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads if any.
6. Shiny Hair – use brewed Lipton Tea
7. Sunburn – empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
8. Minor burn – Colgate or Crest toothpaste
9. Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!
10. Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too
11 Bee stings – meat tenderizer
12. Chigger bite – Preparation H
13. Puffy eyes – Preparation H
14. Paper cut – crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)
15. Stinky feet – Jello !
16. Athletes feet – cornstarch
17. Fungus on toenails or fingernails – Vicks vapor rub
18. Kool aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet. (Wow, and we drink this stuff)
19. Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool Aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won’t hurt them if they eat it!
20. Peanut butter – will get scratches out of CD’s! Wipe off with a coffee filter paper
21. Sticking bicycle chain – Pam no-stick cooking spray
22. Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in your garage for your hubby
23. Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls
24. When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with cornstarch and watch them slide on
25. Heavy dandruff – pour on the vinegar !
26. Body paint – Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour into an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!
27 Tie Dye T-shirt – mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak
28. Preserving a newspaper clipping – large bottle of club soda and cup of milk of magnesia , soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years!
29. A Slinky will hold toast and CD’s!
30. To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste
31. Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt.
32. To remove wax – Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.
33. Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with Peanut butter!
34. Baked on food – fill container with water, get a Bounce paper softener and the static from the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also; you can use 2 Efferdent tablets , soak overnight!
35. Crayon on the wall – Colgate toothpaste and brush it!
36.. Dirty grout – Listerine
37. Stains on clothes – Colgate toothpaste
38. Grass stains – Karo Syrup
39. Grease Stains – Coca Cola , it will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from car batteries!
40. Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
41. To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox , or 2 Bayer aspirin , or just use 7-up instead of water.
42. When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you ‘squeeze’ for freshness or softness? Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie.
They are:

Monday = Blue,
Tuesday = Green,
Thursday = Red
Friday = White
Saturday = Yellow.

So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue- Green – Red – White – Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have different colors. You learn something new everyday! Enjoy fresh bread when you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.

Don’t forget Gatorade for a migraine. PowerAde won’t work.

BDSM 201: Tapping the Feral State

How does a Dominant teach a sub not to fear their aggressive side? How do you keep control?

This is a really tricky and slippery slope and every Dominant has their own take on it; however I will say very few Dominants will venture into this realm PURPOSELY especially with an alpha male sub.  It’s not only emotionally taxing, it can be very dangerous as well. Most Doms will tap into this realm accidentally. Sadists may seek this realm purposely.

I’m not going to talk about the nature of a slave as I want to discuss the aggressive side. In this discussion I’ll use slave/sub interchangeably. This is not a topic I discuss often as it’s not something I ever want a newbie to try and do. Not to mention, there may be legal risks involved as well since you’re actually playing in the psychological realm when you go feral and in many ways the individual disconnects with their conscious self. Anyway, forgive me if I bounce around a bit, this is one of those topics that is so convoluted, I only discuss with experienced Dominants and only those that actually experience it or are Sadistic and purposely seek this realm. As always, it’s easier for me to address the issue as if you’re the one embarking on this journey. Please note I am not talking about mere aggression and someone being hardcore; I am talking about the feral side of a slave…the beast within or as a slave I know calls it, “his monster.” (Please note, I am not speaking of roleplay in which someone pretends to be a cat or an animal.) This is a state of being that is very scary to the slave/submissive as it means they’re out of control. I’m going to concentrate on alpha sub males at this point however the same can be true of alpha female submissives; and though they’re rare, they’re out there. I know one who reminds me of Zena and going up against her in aggressive mode is intimidating…in feral mode, let’s just say you want her tied to something since she’s lethal.  Also, not all slaves/subs will ever reach this state; and your quiet ones don’t venture here. It’s the alpha slaves which are more prone—or rather more likely. to stumble here. Or a Dominant male who’s being submissive to another male or Dominant woman. However, beta subs/slaves can also achieve this state.

Anyone can crash into a feral state whether from impact play or emotional play/stressors.

Feral states can happen to anyone (slave or Dom—male or female) if the play reaches a point where the person taps into their primal identity.  A great book on feral states is Extreme Space by FRR Mallory. It’s a bit hard to find, but if you do, get two copies.  (Though Extreme Space focuses more on subspace than Domspace it has great tips on what to do when things go really bad in a scene.)

A Feral state is when someone has crossed over from their submissive state. Their conscious logical mind isn’t functioning and they are at their primal state. Normally feral states are reached when you’re doing heavy impact play however it can happen on command and when you’re engaging in psychological or edge play.  Examples of these are: Interrogation scenes, kidnappings, edge play, breathe play and anything that’s very edgy.

During feral states, the slave may not be coherent, may become violent, may talk in a foreign language if they know any—even one they barely use—or don’t know. (The brain is funny that way.) The individual will be pumped on adrenaline and endorphins –yes, it’s like they were drunk and doing speed at the same time so their strength will seem like it suddenly multiplied by ten. Their facial expressions will change, their breathing changes, and they may even become very predatory. They may react violently or become very still and quiet like a lion waiting to pounce as soon as you turn your back on him or release him if you had him/her tied up. And you’ll know when they’ve hit feral state because the hairs at the back of your neck will stand up.

Never release someone who’s in a feral state from their restraints! You’d be putting your safety and theirs on the line. I’d only recommend release as a last resort if the individual was causing injury to themselves while being tied down. And yes, it can happen. They’re feral. Think of a wolf caught in a trap and gnawing its own paw off. Try to calm them down prior to release.

Never try to fight them unless you know you can subdue them! Pitting your strength against theirs is like adding gasoline to the fire. What you want to do is take control physically in such a way you tap into their submissive core. For instance, grabbing them by the throat and squeezing. Talking to them and refocusing them. Get them to look down at their toe because “it’s green”. Yes, I know that sounds silly but believe me, it works. It’s like short circuiting the brain. Sooth them. Talk softly to help calm them, to help ground them, and make them fully conscious and alert to you and themselves.

I knew one Dominant woman who’s slave got loose from his restraints during a feral state and stated he was going to kill her. She used the green toe example.  She kept saying it over and over, asking him, “Why is your toe green. Look at it. It’s green.” until he finally looked and it confused, and it made him stop for a moment—the short circuit effect.  She then redirected him into playing with his rope which helped him to calm down since it was a strong fetish for him. You don’t want a feral sub binding you.

Another Dominant purposely called out the beast in her slave. He was reaching subspace and she put her arm before him and told him to bite. He immediately went feral on her; biting her arm almost to the point of breaking skin. She then took control of him, making him submit once more using breath play to push him higher into subspace and then releasing his beast once more. She repeated this pattern several times until he stopped and started on command and you could see his mind struggling to keep up. This was a very emotionally intense scene. And when she finally brought a stop to it, the slave actually knelt before her and cried begging for forgiveness for hurting her when he saw the damage he’d done to her arm and thanking her for taking away his fears.  (The slave had been afraid he’d injure her because of his background and figured she wouldn’t be able to control him if he became aggressive—something he often did when playing with others—men and women.) He was also known for turning the tables on Dominant women and controlling the scene. She proved she could stand toe to toe with him and still retain control. She wore long sleeves for over a week. And though he wasn’t “tamed” by any definition of the word as he’s still wild and causes trouble, you can see the submission in him and admiration he has for her when they’re together.

From an emotional/psychological level after the encounter the sub can feel:
*terrified (coming face to face with your primal self)
*may retreat – run away and then return (or not)
*become very emotional and cry inconsolably
*become withdrawn and introspective.
*have extreme trust in himself and especially the Dominant
*feel a sense of wholeness

From a Dominant perspective:
*aggression (drawing out the feral part of a person can be very erotic and invigorating)
*pain (yep, you can get hurt)
*fear (it’s scary tapping into the beast within—especially if you didn’t mean to—and if you’re a Sadist and you have a masochist you’ve got major synergy going on and one feeds the other so this can be very scary because the Dominant is tapping into their own beast and things can get very dangerous. And yes, some individuals have gotten seriously hurt—thus risk awareness is essential.)
*a sense of peace and wholeness.  (or as I love to say, “it quiets the voices”.) The trick to surviving feral/primal drop-ins is to remain calm. If the Dominant panics, things can get really ugly.  Assert control either physically or mentally. Though remember mentally the person in primal/feral states is not there so re-directing/re-focusing is imperative and essential. I would never recommend a novice Dominant (male or female) purposely tap into a sub’s feral state. That’s just stupidity! I also wouldn’t recommend someone just starting into a relationship attempt to engage that level with another. There’s no real trust established and no real control/dominance in place to ensure control of the beast. This will lead to injury and/or a sense of betrayal by the submissive.

Yes, the scene can be hot and erotic as hell; however there are dues to pay afterward both physically and emotionally for both Dom/sub. The last thing you want to happen is that the slave feels guilt or shame for injuring you or you injuring him to keep yourself safe; or having him injure himself because he was trying to break out of his restraints.

I wouldn’t recommend this type of play with someone who’s got blatant PTSD issues. You’re just asking for hospitalization at that point. Nor anyone who is not able to give conscious –intellectual—consent

As for Aftercare, this is one of those times that taking care of the Dominant may actually be the Aftercare the submissive needs especially if he’s feeling guilty. Then again, the sub may simply “crash” and the Dom is left to pick up the pieces and clean themselves off.

What I mean by “crash” is that the sub hits subspace so hard and the endorphins kick in so fast that he may actually pass out or not have motor skills for a while.  Emotionally the sub may not be able to do anything but “hold onto” the Dominant while crying or withdrawing into himself.

These are just a few points that I think are the most important to know; however there are many others. For those that have reached this level of interaction and/or witnessed it, please feel free to share your opinions and experiences.

Ok, I think I hit all the highlights at this point. Feel free to ask questions, make comments, etc.


(Additional info from Dr. C.R. L.)



Please take time to ponder….

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but first he would have to agree to her price. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur’s closest friend.

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden. But Lancelot, having learned of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life, as well as the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed.

The witch then answered Arthur’s question of: ‘What do women really want?’ She said, ‘A woman wants to be in charge of her own life.’ Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom.

And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that, since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, and be the beautiful maiden the other half. ‘Which would you prefer?’ She asked him. ‘Beautiful during the day or at night?’ Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch. Or, Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous moments with?

If you are a man reading this… What would your choice be?

If you are a woman reading this… What do you think your man’s choice would be?

And Lancelot’s choice is given below… But… please make your choice first before you scroll down below…

Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur for his question, Sir Lancelot said that he would allow her to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now… what is the moral to this story?

1) There is ‘witch’ in every woman, no matter how beautiful she is!
2) If you don’t let a woman have her way, things are going to get ugly!

So, be careful how you treat a woman and always remember: It is either her way or no way!

A little Valentine history…

I ran across this, so I thought I’d pass on to the cynics. I’m somewhat of a cynic, myself. Enjoy the read…
Valentine’s Day History
There are varying opinions as to the origin of Valentine’s Day. Some experts state that it originated from St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on February 14, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries. Legend also says that St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer’s daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it “From Your Valentine”. Other aspects of the story say that Saint Valentine served as a priest at the temple during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Claudius then had Valentine jailed for defying him. In 496 A.D. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14th to honor St. Valentine.
Gradually, February 14th became the date for exchanging love messages and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. The date was marked by sending poems and simple gifts such as flowers. There was often a social gathering or a ball.
In the United States, Miss Esther Howland is given credit for sending the first valentine cards. Commercial valentines were introduced in the 1800’s and now the date is very commercialised. The town of Loveland, Colorado, does a large post office business around February 14th. The spirit of good continues as valentines are sent out with sentimental verses and children exchange valentine cards at school.
The History of Saint Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day started in the time of the Roman empire. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honor Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.
The lives of young boys and girls were strictly separate. However, one of the customs of the young people was name drawing. On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia, the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl’s name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry.
Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that Roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. The good Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in the days of Claudius II. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, around the year 270. At that time it was the custom in Rome, a very ancient custom, indeed, to celebrate in the month of February the Lupercalia, feasts in honor of a heathen god. On these occasions, amidst a variety of pagan ceremonies, the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed.
The pastors of the early Christian Church in Rome endeavored to do away with the pagan element in these feasts by substituting the names of saints for those of maidens. And as the Lupercalia began about the middle of February, the pastors appear to have chosen Saint Valentine’s Day for the celebration of this new feast. So it seems that the custom of young men choosing maidens for valentines, or saints as patrons for the coming year, arose in this way.
St. Valentine’s Story
Let me introduce myself. My name is Valentine. I lived in Rome during the third century. That was long, long ago! At that time, Rome was ruled by an emperor named Claudius. I didn’t like Emperor Claudius, and I wasn’t the only one! A lot of people shared my feelings.
Claudius wanted to have a big army. He expected men to volunteer to join. Many men just did not want to fight in wars. They did not want to leave their wives and families. As you might have guessed, not many men signed up. This made Claudius furious. So what happened? He had a crazy idea. He thought that if men were not married, they would not mind joining the army. So Claudius decided not to allow any more marriages. Young people thought his new law was cruel. I thought it was preposterous! I certainly wasn’t going to support that law!
Did I mention that I was a priest? One of my favorite activities was to marry couples. Even after Emperor Claudius passed his law, I kept on performing marriage ceremonies — secretly, of course. It was really quite exciting. Imagine a small candlelit room with only the bride and groom and myself. We would whisper the words of the ceremony, listening all the while for the steps of soldiers.
One night, we did hear footsteps. It was scary! Thank goodness the couple I was marrying escaped in time. I was caught. (Not quite as light on my feet as I used to be, I guess.) I was thrown in jail and told that my punishment was death.
I tried to stay cheerful. And do you know what? Wonderful things happened. Many young people came to the jail to visit me. They threw flowers and notes up to my window. They wanted me to know that they, too, believed in love.
One of these young people was the daughter of the prison guard. Her father allowed her to visit me in the cell. Sometimes we would sit and talk for hours. She helped me to keep my spirits up. She agreed that I did the right thing by ignoring the Emperor and going ahead with the secret marriages. On the day I was to die, I left my friend a little note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. I signed it, “Love from your Valentine.”
I believe that note started the custom of exchanging love messages on Valentine’s Day. It was written on the day I died, February 14th, 269 A.D. Now, every year on this day, people remember. But most importantly, they think about love and friendship. And when they think of Emperor Claudius, they remember how he tried to stand in the way of love, and they laugh — because they know that love can not be beaten!
Valentine Traditions
Hundreds of years ago in England, many children dressed up as adults on Valentine’s Day. They went singing from home to home. One verse they sang was:
Good morning to you, valentine;
Curl your locks as I do mine —
Two before and three behind.
Good morning to you, valentine.
In Wales wooden love spoons were carved and given as gifts on February 14th. Hearts, keys and keyholes were favorite decorations on the spoons. The decoration meant, “You unlock my heart!”
In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.
In some countries, a young woman may receive a gift of clothing from a young man. If she keeps the gift, it means she will marry him.
Some people used to believe that if a woman saw a robin flying overhead on Valentine’s Day, it meant she would marry a sailor. If she saw a sparrow, she would marry a poor man and be very happy. If she saw a goldfinch, she would marry a millionaire.
A love seat is a wide chair. It was first made to seat one woman and her wide dress. Later, the love seat or courting seat had two sections, often in an S-shape. In this way, a couple could sit together — but not too closely!
Think of five or six names of boys or girls you might marry, As you twist the stem of an apple, recite the names until the stem comes off. You will marry the person whose name you were saying when the stem fell off.
Pick a dandelion that has gone to seed. Take a deep breath and blow the seeds into the wind. Count the seeds that remain on the stem. That is the number of children you will have.
If you cut an apple in half and count how many seeds are inside, you will also know how many children you will have.
(By the way… Happy Valentine’s Day!)

BDSM 101: BreathPlay

The beautiful memes that we see conjure up all sorts of wonderful images; the power exchanges, the subspace, the control, etc. But that can be dangerously misleading.

Breath play is considered one of the most dangerous forms of edgeplay. An understanding of the risks is a must. And even then, understanding the risks will not completely eliminate them.

Before you even begin to consider breathplay, be aware of some of the extreme risks.
This is a bit of a long read. But considering the risks involved in this type of play, it is a minor amount of time needed to read, and has some valuable info everyone should know.

There are several considerations to have in mind when attempting breath play.
Does the person have normal breathing response?
A person who is calm and rested takes an average of 12-16 breaths per minute.
The need for oxygen to the body increases during periods of stress and emergencies.
If a scene involves moments of fear or nervousness, the need for oxygen and breathing will increase.
An orgasm causes a person to breathe faster, and their need for oxygen must be taken into consideration when performing breath play.

Does the person breathe primarily through the nose or mouth?
Are they prone to nosebleeds?
Pressure you may place on the nose can cause a nosebleed. (Not a good scene.)
Does the bottom/submissive have any medical issues?
Conditions as simple as allergies can seriously affect a person’s oxygen need consumption.
Does the person have bronchitis or obstructive breathing disorders?
Again, it’s important to ask before you attempt breathplay on a new person.
Something as simple as a cold can affect a person’s breathing patterns dramatically.

The structure of the throat is quite delicate, and you should think twice before you play by placing your hand around someone’s throat.

There are several important structures in the throat areas.

Two main jugular veins provide blood, oxygen and nutrients to the brain. If the flow of either jugular veins is impaired for too long, oxygen deprivation can cause the person to lose consciousness, as well as much more serious damage, if pressure is continued.

Delicate cartilage (not bone) protect the windpipe, preventing it from closing so a person can continue to breathe. This cartilage can easily be broken or damaged and cause serious breathing impairment.

If you decide to pursue breathplay, consider several options.

Use the inner part of the palm to press inward, directly beneath the chin. It gives the same effect of constricting breath movement, with less danger of causing damage.

Do not use your finger to squeeze down, because where your fingers land will constrict the jugular veins.

The other method is to use the crook of your arm to restrict breath.

Do not use the broad side of your arm without knowing you are using a bone against throat cartilage where severe damage can more likely occur. With the crook of the arm, there is more control of the sub, and less potential for damage.

Pressure on the Trachea and/or Hanging

This form of play requires a lot of caution.
If you are somehow compressing the trachea, it is important to do so by slowly applying pressure and making sure not to apply pressure to the larynx.
One method is to take a curved finger and place it at the part of the throat where it meets the chin and pushing up and back slowly.
Another method is to apply pressure below the larynx (sometimes with a scarf).
A lot of injuries can occur to the trachea this way if you press too hard. If you are going to use a ligature or noose, it is safer if you use one that doesn’t constrict. If it does, make sure it is wide and padded. If it is too narrow, it will cut or twist the skin, causing bruising and damage to areas such as blood vessels, nerves, cervical spine and windpipe. It may also be a good idea to use a dry lubricant such as baby powder and a soft type of rope or ligature.
If you are hanging someone, it is important to never drop them into place. That could break their spine.
A really nice form of rigging for hanging is when a person is raised into place with their feet still on the ground (often referred to as ‘air walking’).
If you decide to try air walking, there is a significant possibility of damage to the spine.

Compression of the chest

One way this is accomplished is simply having a lover lay on you, making it difficult for you to breathe. Since speech is impaired, I suggest using a double-tap on the arm/shoulder as a safe word.

Another form of chest compression is corseting. I can personally attest to how wonderfully hot it is to barely be able to breath in when wearing one.
If you pursue corseting, you should do some research on this particular topic.
However you compress the chest, you need to go slowly and carefully.
It would be easy to break a person’s ribs. When you ease up on someone after chest compression, you should do it slowly or they may faint.

Pressure on the carotid artery
It takes about 15 seconds of pressure on the carotid arteries to cause unconsciousness.
If you use this method, bear in mind that you are cutting off blood flow from the brain and physically stimulating baroreceptors that will cause the vagus nerve to fire off impulses that could cause cardiac arrest.
Other than that, it is vitally important to avoid pressure to the larynx and damage to the blood vessels.
Do not ever twist the skin or underlying structure of the neck while doing this. It could cause injury to the spine or internal trauma to the neck.
A simple way to accomplish this is to stand behind the bottom and place the bend of your elbow in front of your partner’s throat.
Then slowly bend your arm, applying pressure on the carotid arteries, but not on the front of the throat. Many police officers use this hold, however most classify it as a form of deadly force.


The trachea is commonly known as the windpipe and is essentially a cartilaginous tube.
Some people who practice breath control put pressure on the trachea during play.
There are a few important injuries that can come of that.
The trachea can rupture.
This will cause intense pain, gasping for air, and thick secretions in the throat.
This is a medical emergency and proper medical care must be sought immediately.
Another less immediate condition that can occur is Tracheitis.
It is an inflammation of the trachea.
The signs of tracheitis are thick secretions of the throat, swelling, croupy cough, sore throat and fever.
This may seem minor at first and it may correct itself if the throat is rested and use a humidifier to help with the secretions. This can ultimately turn deadly very quickly.
Usually a hospital will deal with this condition by administering humidified oxygen, suctioning the throat, giving antibiotics, and monitoring a person’s vital signs.
In either of these cases there is always the possibility of an emergency tracheotomy and need for medical attention.
This involves an incision that is made through the skin and muscles into the trachea to get air to the lungs.
If you do a lot of play that involves pressure on the trachea, well…unless you have extensive medical training, I wouldn’t recommend doing it. Tracheal compression can go from pleasurable to dangerous very quickly!
I do not have information on whether repeated attempts of tracheal compression will weaken the trachea, but I would personally recommend that if you are going to play in this way you go about it with a slow and  even pressure.
This is not something to do violently as it could easily get rough in the heat of passion.

The larynx is the enlarged upper end of trachea below the root of the tongue.
It is the organ of voice and consists of nine cartilages bound together by elastic membranes and moved by muscles.
It is a very intricate structure and can be easily injured. Pressure to the larynx should always be avoided. Here are a few of the injuries that can occur.
A fracture of the Larynx is an incredibly serious injury that needs immediate medical attention.
Some signs of fracture or compression of larynx are loud breathing, choking and gasping respiration, weak and fast pulse, and blue skin.
If left untreated it will usually lead to death.
It can also seriously affect the voice if a person does manage to survive the injury.
I would say that if you do any type of compression of the neck it is important to do some research into emergency tracheotomy.
If this type of injury occurs it will at least give your partner some chance of survival if the air is completely cut off with this injury.
The best way to avoid this injury is to learn where the larynx is and never do any form of play that places pressure upon it.
If you practice some form of breath control that is going to press on the larynx then at least apply it slowly and carefully and try to pad any apparatus that could be used around the neck.

I really cannot stress enough how dangerous the consequences of this type of compression could be.

Laryngitis is also a complication of any form of compression of the larynx.
It is essentially an inflammation of the larynx.
Some symptoms of laryngitis are loss of voice, hoarseness, pain, and sometimes coughing.
It is usually harmless and doctors recommend that you rest your voice, take cough suppressants, and inhale steam.
I would personally look into seeing a doctor for it just in case there is a slight fracture or other problem present causing the symptoms.
The best way to avoid this injury is to not put pressure on the larynx.

Blood vessels
At times play puts stress on the blood vessels of the neck, especially the carotid arteries.
This can cause several problems but I’m going to focus on dissection. There are two types, post-traumatic dissection and spontaneous.
For our purposes I will speak of the post-traumatic type.
Post-traumatic carotid dissection is essentially stretching and small tearing of the artery brought on by trauma such as strangulation.
The symptoms of this tearing are visual loss, weakness, numbness, or speech difficulties.
These events may be transient or permanent.
The only treatment is to get to a doctor and have it evaluated.
They usually test using MRI or angiography.
If they find that you are suffering from it you will probably be given anticoagulation (blood thinners) for approximately 8-12 weeks. They may also do repeated angiography before stopping treatment to ensure that the vessels have healed.
I think I should add some perspective about this injury. It most often occurs by people simply turning their head at the wrong time or by going to a chiropractor.
It is a pretty common injury that doesn’t necessarily need a lot of stress to come about.
The best advice I can offer to avoid this injury is that, if you do hanging, you should pad the noose.
If you have your partner strangle you, they should apply pressure to your neck slowly and never twist the neck.
Also, any bondage around the neck should be wide enough that it doesn’t dig into the flesh easily and twist against the skin. A good rule is to not use anything less than 1/2 inch wide.
If I were going to use a ligature of some sort directly against the skin, it would be soft and lubricated with a dry lubricant such as baby powder. I would be careful not to apply so much dry lubricant that I ended up inhaling it. And do I need to add that you should always, Always, ALWAYS keep some emergency supplies (i.e. scissors and first aid kit) nearby during any scene play?

This could have gone under Blood Vessels but I thought it deserved separate attention.
A stroke is basically a sudden loss of consciousness and paralysis caused by a hemorrhage into the brain, blockage of a blood vessel with a blood clot or foreign object, or a rupture of an artery in the brain.
Sometimes during strangulation play, plaque (a fatty substance in the blood vessels) is dislodged.
If that happens, it can lodge itself in the blood vessel and lead to a stroke.
Strokes are unfortunately very common in this society and a few symptoms of one are loss of consciousness, paralysis, unequal pupils (large one on side of stroke), paralysis usually on one side, sweating, slightly lowered temperature, and speech disturbances.
I would think that a person would be more prone to stroke if they have had one before, they have a history of heart or blood pressure problems, they are overweight, in poor physical condition, or they have a cholesterol problem.
If your partner has a stroke they need immediate medical attention.
While you wait for the ambulance, you can help them in a couple of ways. 

Handle them very carefully, especially their paralyzed parts.
Keep them lying on their back, head and shoulders slightly raised.
Turn the person’s face carefully to the side if they are having a hard time breathing.
That will let the secretions drain out. If they have anything in their mouths, remove it. 

Keep them warm and quiet but don’t overheat them.
Do not move your partner more than necessary.
Do not use any stimulants or smelling salts. The person may be unconscious, but still able to hear what you say…so don’t say things to panic them. Don’t try to give them anything to drink or eat.
Some things that may help you to avoid this problem are regular aerobic activity and good diet (if you like to bottom to strangulation). It is important that if you bottom to this sort of play you get regular physicals that evaluate your general health.
If you have a risk factor such as high cholesterol, then perhaps avoid strangulation play.
If you do strangulation play, be sure that pressure is applied slowly and that no twisting occurs.
If you lessen the trauma to the vessel, you lessen the risk of dislodging something.
Do whatever you can to avoid trauma to the vessels.

Cervical Spine
The cervical spine is made up of the first 7 bones of the spinal column. There are several things that can happen to injure this area.
I will cover a couple of them.
A fracture in the Cervical Spine will usually cause pain, possible paralysis, fainting, and suppression of reflexes.
A pinched nerve in the area of the cervical spine will mimic a lot of the symptoms of a fracture and is also very serious.
In the long term, if left untreated, it can cause constant pain and loss of muscle tone.
The most important thing to do in the case of spinal injury is to make sure the person does not move.
Calm them and tell them to lay still while you call for medical assistance.
It is important to reassure them that everything will be well as long as they do not move around.
The treatment of these injuries usually involves putting a person in some form of traction so they will not move while the bone(s) are healing. In the case of a pinched nerve, it is possible that surgery will be needed.
There are several things you can do to avoid this injury.
The first being that if you are involved in hanging with your feet off the floor (or being an “airwalker”) it is important that you do not allow yourself to drop into position.
That can lead to serious spinal injury even if the drop is as little as an inch. Remember, hanging was originally not used to strangle someone but instead used to break their neck.
Any ligature is going to be more likely to cause a spinal injury, especially if it is a thin one.
Another risk is if you apply a police style choke hold when your bottom is struggling or if you twist the neck slightly while applying it.
It is very easy to cause injury that way.

Seizures and Fainting
Seizures and fainting take similar first aid so they will be described together and they fall into three categories.

Grand Mal seizures involve a sudden loss of consciousness followed by board like rigidity that changes to jerking muscle movements that gradually disappear. The victim usually wants to sleep afterwards. When they awake they are usually cranky and have no memory of the seizure. There may be incoherent speech, extreme restlessness, and confusion.

Petit Mal seizures last about five to twenty-five seconds. You will usually notice the person’s skin go a bit pale and also notice them begin stare off into space. The eyes may roll back and the head, eyes and upper extremities may jerk slightly. The victim is usually alert right afterwards and able to function normally.

Psychomotor seizures include automatic stereotyped movements of the body combined with partial amnesia. The victim may become angry and act out or have a temper tantrum after experiencing it.

Whatever seizure a person experiences they may find that they a strange feeling, smell, pain, or visions beforehand that signal the beginning of an attack.

Fainting is a sudden loss of consciousness due to insufficient supply of oxygenated blood to the brain. It is also common to faint out of an emotional response to something unpleasant or scary.
Fainting is more common as you get older.

A few things that you may notice in someone before they faint are weakness, dizziness, paleness, sweating, and cold skin. The victim may notice spots before the eyes, numbness, tingling of extremities, nausea, disturbances of vision, shallow breathing (in our case…sometimes no breathing *wicked grin*), and a feeling of light lightheadedness. The pulse is usually rapid and weak.

Both of these conditions in and of themselves are not considered medical emergencies and both are treated similarly.
If your partner faints or seizes, try to ensure they don’t fall and harm themselves.
Keep calm.
There is no way you can stop a seizure.
Do not forcefully restrain your partner and loosen any clothing or restraints that may limit their circulation.
Make sure that they have an open airway. In the case of a seizure you might place a pillow under your partner’s head so they don’t hurt themselves.
In the case of fainting, elevate the legs so that the head is lower than the feet. If you can, you might want to gently turn their head to the side so they don’t choke on saliva or vomit.
Sometimes in the case of a seizure a person will stop breathing. Monitor your partner’s condition carefully and make sure that you follow up with first aid for any secondary situation that might arise.
There is very little we can do to avoid these things and still play like we enjoy.
The important thing is how we handle it after it happens.
You need to restore air as soon as possible when a person faints or seizes and give them proper first aid.

The main cause of death involving breath play is that someone is playing by themselves and faints or seizes while unable to remove the device restricting their air.

Airway Obstruction by the Tongue
A simple thing to overlook is that if your partner passes out their tongue might fall back in their throat and continue to suffocate them.
If your partner passes out you can prevent this problem by tilting your partner’s head, chin pointing up.
Place one hand under the person’s neck and gently lift while pushing with one hand on the victim’s forehead.
This should move the tongue away from the back of the throat and clear the airway.

Aspiration of vomit, mucus, or saliva

Sometimes a person can inhale his or her own vomit, mucus, or saliva. This is very dangerous.
Usually a person will not actually draw the materials completely into the lungs.
The symptoms of aspiration of foreign materials is coughing, unconsciousness, cyanosis, cardiac arrest, and cessation of breathing.
If the person begins to develop a problem, the very first thing to do is to position them so they can vomit and keep an open airway.
Remove all gags or bondage immediately. Sometimes the Heimlich manoeuvre can help to clear their airway if something is lodged within it.
If they are coughing make sure to monitor them while you get emergency medical attention.
I have heard that some people have successfully helped in this situation by plugging the victim’s nose and using their own mouths to suction the airway.
There are some things that will probably lower your risk of having this happen in play.
Do not gag the person you are choking.
If you do gag them have a way to release the gag in a second (literally).
Do not put the bottom into such tight bondage that you couldn’t turn them to the side if they needed to throw up.
Don’t play with someone when they have a head cold.
If you have a partner who gets nauseous during play it may be a good idea to stick to shorter times of asphyxiation.

Have fun but most of all play safe!